Because little hearts sometimes feel very big things.
Preschoolers are full of wonder, curiosity, and joy, but they also experience big, intense emotions that can be overwhelming for them (and sometimes for us too!). Whether it’s a full-blown meltdown over a broken crayon or sudden tears because a friend wouldn’t share, it’s important to remember one thing: emotions are not the problem. It’s how we guide children through them that matters most.
Here are some practical and loving ways to help preschoolers navigate their big emotions:
- Name the Feeling
One of the first steps in helping children manage emotions is giving them the vocabulary to express how they’re feeling. Simple phrases like,
- “You’re feeling really frustrated right now,”
- “That made you feel sad,”
- “It looks like you’re mad because you wanted a turn.” Help them feel seen and start building emotional awareness.
Tip: Use books, emotion charts, or playful face-drawing activities to introduce different feelings during calm times.
- Stay Calm and Grounded
Little ones look to us to know if things are okay. We communicate safety when we stay calm in the face of a stormy tantrum. Take a deep breath before responding. You don’t need to fix the emotion, you need to be present.
Remember: Your calm is more powerful than their chaos.
- Validate Before You Redirect
Imagine someone telling you to “just calm down” when you’re upset, it rarely helps. Instead, validate first:
“I know you’re upset because we have to leave the park. That’s hard.”
Only after validation should redirection happen:
“Let’s take a big breath together, and then we can talk about something fun we’ll do at home.”
- Create Quiet Outlets or Big Movement Spaces
Preschoolers often need physical ways to release big energy. Try:
- A quiet corner with cozy pillows and books
- A “calm-down basket” with fidget toys or sensory items
- Movement games like jumping, dancing, or stretching
Creative Idea: Let them scribble or paint their feelings with colors that match their mood.
- Practice Emotional Skills in Play
Playing is the perfect place to explore emotions. Use dolls, puppets, or role play to act out scenarios:
- “What should Mr. Bear do when he’s mad?”
- “How can we help Dolly feel better when she’s scared?”
This helps children rehearse empathy and problem-solving in a safe and fun way.
- Routines and Predictability Matter
A predictable schedule creates emotional safety. When children know what to expect, they feel more in control. Even simple routines like a goodbye ritual at drop-off or a bedtime prayer can anchor them during transitions.
Tip: Visual schedules with pictures can be incredibly helpful for preschoolers who aren’t yet reading.
- Model It Yourself
Children learn emotional regulation by watching how we handle our own feelings. If you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to say,
“I’m feeling frustrated, so I will take a few deep breaths.”
It teaches them that emotions are normal and that there are healthy ways to manage them.
Compassion Over Control
Big feelings in little bodies can be hard, but they are a regular part of growing up. When we meet children with patience, compassion, and consistency, we help them build emotional resilience that will serve them throughout their whole lives.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present.
