October Is When the Stories Start Coming Home
Here is something about October at school that I love. By now, everything isn’t quite so new anymore. The backpacks have been used, everyone knows where they are supposed to go in the morning, classroom routines are becoming second nature, and our students are settling into who they really are.
August and September are full of figuring things out. October is when we really start living school life.
Friendships are forming. Children know their teachers better. They have favorite parts of the day. They know which work comes easily to them and which work takes a little more effort. They’re becoming more independent, more comfortable, and usually a lot more talkative.
And this is often when the stories really start coming home.
There is something funny about asking children about school. You can ask, “What did you do today?” and get absolutely nothing. “Nothing.” Really? Nothing? You were there all day. Surely someone did something.
Then later, when you are trying to make dinner, answer an email, find a missing shoe and remember why you walked into the laundry room, they suddenly have a very important story to tell you about something that happened at 10:17 that morning.
And it usually starts somewhere in the middle. “So then she said I couldn’t have it…” Wait. Who is she? What couldn’t you have? Where were you? By October, those stories can tell us a lot about how our children are settling into the school year.
Sometimes the important part of their day comes out while they’re coloring. Sometimes it comes out in the bathtub. Sometimes it’s right before bed when you have already said goodnight twice.
And sometimes what sounds like a very small story to us is actually a pretty big story to them.
“He wouldn’t sit by me.”
“My teacher said I did a good job.”
“I got all of them right today.”
“She played with someone else.”
“My work was hard, but I finished it.”
“I got to be the helper.”
Those little statements give us a peek into what matters in their world. They also give us a glimpse of how much has already changed since the beginning of the school year.
The child who was nervous about walking through the door now has a best friend to tell you about. The child who didn’t want to attempt something difficult is proud to announce that they did it by themselves. The child who barely mentioned anyone’s name in August suddenly has an entire cast of characters in every story.
Of course, not every October story is going to be a happy one.
Once children become comfortable with each other, there are going to be disagreements. Feelings will get hurt. Someone won’t share. Someone else will say, “You’re not my best friend anymore,” and five minutes later they will probably be playing together again.
As adults, our instinct is often to fix things. If someone wouldn’t play with our child, we want to know who. If something was difficult, we want to know why. If their feelings were hurt, every protective instinct we have wakes up. But not every story needs us to immediately solve it. Sometimes our children just need us to listen.
We can ask, “How did that make you feel?” or “What did you do next?” We can help them think through what happened without taking over the situation for them.
At school, we are doing the same thing. Of course, we step in when children need us. But we also give them opportunities to use their words, solve age-appropriate problems, work through disagreements, ask for help and learn that they are capable of handling some of the little bumps that come with being part of a classroom.
The beginning-of-school nerves are fading, and now the real growing begins. Not just academically, although we are seeing plenty of that too. Children are growing in confidence, independence, friendships, responsibility and their ability to communicate what they need.
Those skills don’t develop overnight. They develop through hundreds of ordinary moments and conversations with adults who are willing to listen.
I think about James 1:19, where we are reminded to be quick to listen and slow to speak. That’s good advice in almost every part of life, but I think it’s especially beautiful when it comes to children.
They don’t always tell us the important things when we ask. They tell us when they’re ready.
So this October, as the excitement of the beginning of school settles into the rhythm of everyday school life, listen for those little stories.
When your child suddenly begins telling you something while you’re making dinner, or remembers an incredibly important detail five minutes after bedtime, take a second and listen when you can.
You may have no idea who “she” is or why the blue crayon became such a major issue. But to them, it matters. And every time we show them that the little things are safe to bring to us, we’re quietly teaching them that someday they can bring us the big things too.
Want to learn more? Come visit us at Cornerstone Christian Academy in Justin, TX. We’d love to welcome you and your child into our joyful, encouraging school family.