Before We Ask, “How Was School?”
I think almost every parent has had this conversation.
You pick your child up after they have been at school all day and, because you genuinely missed them and want to know what they have been doing, you ask:
“How was school?”
“Good.”
“What did you do today?”
“I don’t know.”
Really?
You were there ALL DAY.
Surely something happened.
The funny thing is, they usually aren’t trying to avoid us. “How was school?” is actually a huge question for a young child. Think about everything that happened during their day. They had lessons, workbook time, Bible, friends, lunch, outside time, conversations, transitions and probably at least one situation involving someone touching something that apparently belonged to them.
Where do they even start?
I’ve found that smaller questions usually get much better answers.
Instead of “What did you do today?” try, “What made you laugh today?”
Ask who they sat beside at lunch.
Ask what was hard.
Ask them to tell you one thing they learned that they didn’t know yesterday.
Ask what they worked on in their workbook or what their Bible story was about.
One of my favorites is, “What are you proud of today?”
You learn a lot from that one.
I also think we sometimes forget that children need a little time to decompress.
We don’t always want to walk out of work and immediately give someone a detailed recap of our entire day either. Sometimes they need to get in the car, have a snack and just be quiet for a minute.
Then, three hours later, while you’re making dinner, they suddenly announce, “Mom, guess what happened today?”
That’s when you stop and listen.
Because children have a funny way of telling us important things when we aren’t necessarily asking.
It happens in the car, while we’re getting ready for bed, while they’re coloring or when we’re trying to get everyone out the door on time.
Deuteronomy 6 talks about teaching our children when we sit at home, when we walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up. I love that because it sounds like real family life.
The important conversations aren’t always planned.
Sometimes a simple question about school turns into a conversation about friendship. Or honesty. Or something that hurt their feelings. Or why we forgive. Or what God asks of us when someone isn’t being very kind.
So keep asking about their day.
Just maybe don’t expect a full report at 3:30.
Give them a snack. Give them a little space. Ask a better question.
And when they finally decide they’re ready to tell you the entire story—usually right around bedtime when you thought everyone was finally going to sleep—listen.
Those little conversations are often where the really important things come out.
Want to learn more? Come visit us at Cornerstone Christian Academy in Justin, TX. We’d love to welcome you and your child into our joyful, encouraging school family.