Forgiveness, a challenging yet crucial aspect of life, takes on a profound significance in the realm of parenting. As adults, we comprehend the necessity of releasing negative emotions, even in the face of wrongdoing. This understanding is not innate but acquired, and it’s our duty as parents to steer our children in this direction.

But how do you teach such an essential but difficult-to-embrace topic to preschoolers? The answer is slowly. Please continue reading about the steps parents can take to teach this vital skill to their preschoolers and kindergarteners.

Forgiveness is the “conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they deserve your forgiveness.”

Again, we know! It’s hard! But resentment and anger are toxic emotions to live in. Learning how to lay them down — regardless of how justified a person would be to hold on to them — is essential for anyone’s mental health and opens the door to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Despite the simple definition, many people need clarification about true forgiveness. Here are things to keep in mind when you’re explaining forgiveness to your children.

• Forgiveness IS:

  • Showing kindness to those who are not kind.

  • Showing respect to those who are disrespectful.

  • Showing generosity to those who have not been generous.

  • Showing love to those who have not been loving.

• Forgiveness is NOT:

  • Glossing over the seriousness of the hurt.

  • Forgetting the hurt or excusing the person who did the hurt.

  • Reconciling with the person who did the hurting; the relationship can end if the offense is severe enough.

Understanding Forgiveness Before & After Five Years

Given all of that, it’s easy to see why there’s little chance your child will understand forgiveness before age 4. Thankfully, there’s also very little chance they will hold a grudge, so diving into forgiveness isn’t necessary.

Once they are four years old, start introducing them to love. Understanding the importance of caring for others and showing compassion to those around them lays the foundation for forgiveness. The idea will never stick if they can’t understand the need to forgive—because everyone is worthy and deserving of love.

As children grow, their understanding of forgiveness evolves. Around the age of six, they enter a stage of cognitive development known as ‘concrete operational reasoning.’ This is a significant milestone as it marks their ability to comprehend the causes and effects of people’s actions, a crucial aspect of understanding forgiveness. At this stage, they are more equipped to grasp the complexities of forgiveness and its benefits.